Working with children and teenagers is a passion of mine. With over 30 years of experience, I’ve had the privilege of working with children and teenagers in various settings. Children are complex, lovable, interesting, and at times infuriating. They are precious and they are the future of our world. We strive to support them in developing their full potential. Imagine if children had the resources they needed to enter the world feeling confident and connected to their inner strength. I can help your child build internal resources that will empower them as they navigate life’s challenges. I can guide them in dealing with difficulties in a way that fosters confidence and inner strength.      

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How Do I Work With Children?

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I work with children in a play-centered, body-centered approach that fosters a supportive and safe environment, enabling them to express their deepest concerns and challenges. Sometimes, children may hesitate to share their innermost worries and feelings with their parents due to various reasons. Having a therapist outside the family provides a safe outlet for them to express their emotions without feeling like a burden or upsetting their parents. When children are seen and heard, their internal wisdom empowers them to embark on a journey of healing.   

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What Are the 4 Major Needs of Children?

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Children are born with very specific needs for attachment and authenticity.  As Gabor Mate' says in his book, "The Myth of Normal," children can develop complex trauma not always from what has happened to them, but also by what has not happened to them that should have happened.   He explains 4 needs that all children have to develop in a confident and secure way.

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1. Attachment:  Attachment to caregivers is crucial for a young child’s survival. Loving and supportive connections with caregivers foster their growth and development. These connections equip children with self-regulation skills, enabling them to navigate challenging situations. They also encourage exploration and experimentation, helping them discover their natural talents and passions. Ultimately, these connections instill a sense of security and belonging, enabling children to form healthy relationships with others throughout their lives.

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2. Attachment Security that Allows the Child to Be Themselves:  Attachment security that allows the child to be themselves is the level of security that enables the child to connect with caregivers without having to exert effort. This secure connection ensures that the child will have access to caregivers regardless of their emotional state. Whether the child is upset or calm, the adults will be available, attuned, and emotionally reliable.  

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3. Permission to Feel One's Emotions (All of Them):  This means that children are allowed to remain vulnerable and experience the full range of emotions, including anger, fear, jealousy, and sadness, with support. It ensures that children don’t worry about expressing difficult emotions and losing their attachment to caregivers. In the Western world, many humans have had to suppress authentic emotions to maintain attachments with caregivers who may not have the capacity to handle more challenging feelings.  

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4. Free Play Time:  Gabor Mate describes free, authentic play as agenda-free, interactive, engaging joy and imagination, and person-to-person. He emphasizes that play is essential for the healthy development of all mammals. It allows for the healthy development and maturation of the frontal cortex, which is responsible for thinking, paying attention, organizing, and more. ​

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Does My Child Need Therapy?  

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Children can be impacted by so many things that cause them to need support:  Issues at school, anxiety, self-esteem, confidence, assertiveness, depression, being good enough, behavior problems, worrying and fears, grief and loss, bullying, arguments at home, friendship skills, problems with siblings, complex trauma, abuse, sexual abuse, and neglect. 

 

Unfortunately, life happens, and in most families, things can get chaotic, parents have to work, there is stress and unresolved trauma in the parents, financial stresses, loss and grief, and many situations that arise that are out of the control of the parents and can impact the child. Children do not always get the support they need in the way they need it to have secure attachments. Luckily, most of us have "good enough" parenting.  All parents want the best for their children, and all parents do the best they can to provide their children with the best upbringing so they can have a happy and successful life.  

 

If you believe your child is struggling, therapy can help. Contact me today for a free consultation. 

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